The Insurance Tech Guru

According to this posting, a mere 2.2 lb. hunk of beef is responsible for more greenhouse gas emissions and other pollution than driving for three hours while leaving all the lights on back home, a Japanese study says. And, at least according to some scientists, greenhouse gas emissions are responsible for global warming that could one day turn Pennsylvania into a coastal state (Just watch those property values skyrocket when the western shore of the Delaware River becomes oceanfront property!).

How is that possible, you ask? Well, have you ever considered how much methane gas is released every day by just one of those mooing critters? Yes, that's right. The problem is the gas that is, uh, dispersed into the atmosphere from the animals' digestive systems. You know, indiscreet natural emissions.

What a pickle! How do we stop those cows from polluting the atmosphere with their natural gases, without depriving them of their right to be, well, themselves? What's a green-conscious citizen to do?

Personally, I like burgers and steaks way too much to give them up, so I suggest we have the cattle industry import massive supplies of Beano for inclusion with the animals' feed. Too expensive? Well perhaps we can bottle all that methane as an alternate energy source. Why, it could even reduce our dependence on foreign oil! Seems like an environmentally conscious move to me.

So what's your solution to the problem of flatulent cattle? Share your thoughts and ideas. Let's make sure the good old American hamburger survives over the next century!